descriptive.

I guess I'll kick off this post by telling you about myself because I want you to know who sits on the other side of your computer connection. And because I'm just a naturally conceited person.

1. I am a big fan of you, baby, you.

2. I truthfully don't care who reads this or what they say about it. I'm impervious to snide commentary and malicious gossip.

3. It's time for REALLY important information.

4. I don't like pickles.

5. I like cucumbers.

6. But not pickles.

7. That was dumb. Everyone knows pickles and cucumbers are in the same family. Okay okay, I'll get serious now. Sorry!

8. I actually love being at school, and I make a point of being there extra early every day because I love the atmosphere and the people and the overall hustle and bustle. I love having something to do. I would totally be an English teacher if they got paid more, but sadly, they don't. I guess I'll be a doctor instead.

9. If I could, I'd go to church every day. If I could bottle up how I feel at church and carry it with me everywhere, I would, but of course, the heart does not make a solid, indestructible carrying case. Neither does the brain.

10. I mostly sleep while at home. Sleep, read, and occasionally play games/watch movies with my parents. I thoroughly enjoy playing rummy (classic card game), Sequence (tests our family telepathy), UpWords (a spelling/vocab game that I rock at), Cranium (an excellent thinking game...my fave, but it requires a lot of people), and Pictionary ("IT'S A GONDOLA!" "how the eff did you get that, Dad?" "No luck needed; I've got skill...and it looks kind of like an awkward banana").

11. Speaking of those crazy old people, I love my parents. They can be a little overbearing, a little controlling, and a little quick to "know exactly what we're talking about", but I still love them and would be so completely lost without them.

12. I listen to music while I write. Subsequently, song quotes will often turn up in my writings. You'll have to excuse me. I hope I don't get sued for copyright violations. It's usually classical music or really ambient, light listening, the kind of stuff I can do homework to. Like right now, I'm listening to French music. It's very relaxing. The French have such a beautiful, useless language.

13. Now that I mention it, I guess I should mention my linguistic abilities. I can speak Spanish/English, read in Spanish/English/French, write in Spanish/English, and understand Spanish/English/French when it's spoken. I can also read pretty much any basic derivatives from Spanish, such as Italian and Portuguese.

14. I took a year of Latin and Greek in the seventh grade. I LOVE Latin and Greek roots. They have proven to be more useful than anything else I've ever learned in English class. Infinite possibilities!

15. My favourite dessert is cheesecake. Just straight-up cheesecake. None of the sauce crap. I just want a good cheesecake, with the right softness and the right consistency. I don't like really hard graham crusts, either. It needs to be a soft shell with a creamy interior. (random transition from languages to desserts, but roll with it, okay?)

16. My favourite culinary "genre" is Chinese. I'm a HUGE fan of fried rice, which is so typical, but I'm always game for pork and beef, prepared any which way. Even though it's not Chinese, my favourite fried rice is from Thai Kitchen. Man, they know how to do a good rice.

17. I'm so near-sighted, it's a miracle my glasses even go up to the required power needed for me to see. My contacts are a power lower than my glasses, so I can't see as well with them. How sad. But I'm not blind! Thankfully.

18. Richard Gere (Pretty Woman) is a sexy old man. So is David Duchovny (The X-Files). And Harrison Ford (Star Wars). It doesn't matter how old or young you are, whether you're a guy or a gal, those three men are SO attractive, even in their advanced age.

19. But I generally date guys only a year or two older than me. They're generally more mature and more established in their habits and hobbies. Hopefully when I get to college, all the guys will be on a level playing field. But that might be too optimistic.

20. I used to want to be a lawyer, from the time I was in the 2nd grade until I was a freshman in high school. I credit my "social discovery" for changing my mind. I realised that I really love people, I love observing and noting and describing and prying and reading people. LOVE IT. People are so fascinating, how they're always shifting and changing. It never gets old. And they all FEEL! And THINK! It's amazing, the variety. So yeah, now I want to be a mental doctor, not a vampire.

21. I've dipped my toes into just about any sport you can name, but eventually, after years of dissatisfaction, I decided that I'm a big fan of racquetball. Mostly because something about being trapped in a giant, white room makes me think of a pscyhological torture game, but also, I find the echo to be appealing. It's like a dog chasing a fish around in a pool; you know you're limited, and you also know the fish is never that far away. In a racquetball court, you can almost always get to the ball in a few quick steps. And because it's a very bouncy ball in a very solid room, the game goes on long after you're gone.

22. I spend a fair amount of time on Facebook. It's a great way to keep in touch with people that you wouldn't see or talk to on a daily basis. I think all the little people in life really count. Each one is different, each one has a different purpose. It's soothing and stimulating for me to watch other peoples' lives play out. It's like a real-life soap opera/sitcom/romance/action flick. Brilliant plot twists.

23. I will NOT dance at any dance. I will slow dance, but that's about it. Otherwise, I'll have paramedics swarming me because the only dance I can do is the Seizure Dance!

25. I can't shave worth a crap. You could buy me the best razor, the best shaving cream, and enough time to make a diamond, but it wouldn't make a difference. I ALWAYS miss a spot. There's always a little patch that I have to go back over. I hate it. I am so incompetent. And gross.

26. As if I wasn't gross enough, I bite my nails. I've been biting them since I had teeth. It's just kind of an old habit. They never have a chance.

27. Old habits are EXTREMELY hard to break. My dearest friends will know what habits I'm referring to. Let's just say...the chances are slim that I'll trim the old habits away.

28. I wear a size 4 shoe. Do you know how impossible is it to find a size 4 anywhere? Kid sizes ended around 3, and woman sizes start around 6. I rarely find a good 4 or 5. Luckily, my mom, sister, and I all wear the same size, so that takes the total pair count to around 150 pairs of SHOES!

29. I bet I know more people than you. Well, maybe. All of my Facebook friends are my real friends in real life. I don't add people I haven't met. It's better, safer that way.

30. I can almost always identify what radio songs are rip-offs from older songs. Did you really think half the crap on today's radio is ORIGINAL? Ha! No way; the music was so much better the first time around.

31. I really don't like cake. Or cupcakes. Or brownies. I really don't like bready desserts. Nor do I like icing/frosting. It's gross. Pure gooey sugar. See #15.

32. I can put together a mean puzzle like it's nothing. I LOVE puzzles. If you're gonna get me anything for Christmas, get me a PUZZLE! I seal them and keep them forever, so I'm always needing new ones. I think they're totally fun and never boring. I know, I'm a loser. With way too much time.

33. Oh yeah, did I mention I'm totally self-deprecating? I put myself down a lot, but in reality, I don't know if I mean it or not. I mean, I suck at a lot of stuff, but I'm pretty good at some things, too. Okay, now I'm rambling.

34. I have a very abrasive sense of humour, and if you don't like it, you can go papercut your eyeballs.

35. But I'm actually a nice person. I'm not good at showing it AT ALL, but I try! I often come off as very lovey-dovey or very cruel. Just be patient with me; I'm learning how to be consistent.

36. I pay exceptional attention to detail. If you tell me anything, even once in passing, I almost always remember it. Stuff like addresses, preferences, and directions. It just sticks with me. The only things I'm bad at remembering are numbers. I won't often remember your house number, your phone number, or your year of birth. But I can remember most else. It's an odd talent of mine.

37. I don't like wearing socks. I hate 'em. I wear flip-flops almost every day, every season, so I find socks to be incredibly...restrictive. There's no freedom to be had! In fact, I wear flip-flops so much, I have very visible tan lines on my feet. It's kinda cute...and kinda sad.

38. I am fiercely independent. I HATE HATE HATE group projects. I really feel as though the only way it'll get done right is if I personally do it myself. The more people you work with, the more error-prone you are. Also, every time I have ever been group leader, my group has made above a 95% on the assignment. The ONE TIME I wasn't the leader, we got an 86%. See what a difference it makes? I MUST lead. It's an inborn desire for me. I am SO Type A.

39. I'm aggressive. The word "passive" doesn't even exist in my personality. I am never passive. I am always the aggressor, the pursuer, the go-getter, the chaser, the scorer, the winner, the competitor. I am not content to sit back and watch anything go by. Not people, not opportunities, not time.

40. Which, as you can imagine, makes me a worrisome individual. I worry about everything, even stuff that has nothing to do with me. In my worry, I furrow my brows, tug at my eyelashes, pop my fingers, pluck my arm hair, bite my nails. I'm a nasty-looking trainwreck disaster! I worry way too much, but I wouldn't consider myself a stressed out person. My parents thoroughly disagree. But what do they know?

41. I bruise easily. Which is bad, because I'm not very coordinated. I've got bruises on my knees, my hips, my elbows, my back, my ribs...you'd think I was abused or something. But nope, I'm just a clumsy fool.

42. If I seem to ask direct, focused questions on one particular topic, it's probably because of a boy. For example, if I ask questions like "Have you ever wakeboarded? Did you enjoy it? Would you recommend it? How hard is it? Do you know anybody else who wakeboards? Would you consider yourself a fanatic?", then it's almost certainly because I like a boy who wakeboards. Why else would I be so interested in something so inconsequential?

43. Naturally, I'm one of those annoying people who MUST KNOW EVERYTHING. I ask way too many questions, read way too many Wikipedia articles, and familiarise myself with too many different subjects. I'm insane. Of course, I know it's impossible to know everything, but the more, the better. I can have a fluent conversation with just about anybody about at least one thing. It's a nifty skill to have.

44. I can quote Zoolander word for word. From memory. I've seen it upwards of 50 times. It is definitely my favourite movie. And yes, I know it's ridiculously stupid. But I love it. I like stupid things.

45. I prefer taking left turns as opposed to right turns. I'm always afraid of hitting the curb on right turns, but with left turns, you have a lot of freedom to go faster, turn sharper, whatever. It's liberating.

46. I have astigmatism. This means I have depth perception problems because of the shape of my retina (among other factors). This, combined with my nearsightedness and general ignorance, resulted in me ripping the right sideview mirror off of my car after backing out too close to the garage wall. I cried for an hour straight, after which my then-boyfriend brought me a milkshake to make me feel better. I should rip my mirrors off more often.

47. But I swear I'm not a bad driver. I switch lanes like Michael Jackson cuts a rug, and I love accelerating to get onto the highway, but that's about all the reckless I am.

48. This is probably the most important thing in this entry: I HATE KIDS. Little, ankle-biting heathens. Hate 'em. They're smelly, they're expensive, they're loud, they're annoying, they're attention-stealers, they're pudgy, they're uncoordinated, they're unintelligent, and ALL THEY DO IS POOP. I hate kids. They're basically useless and irritating until they hit puberty, and then they get a little more interesting, a little smarter, a little more realistic. I love teens. Hate kids. Always have. The most I would be willing to have is one, and it'd better be a boy, or I quit life. I would consider adopting, of course, but even then, I'd adopt a preteen, thereby skipping the "pooping excessively" stage of life.

49. I think drinking is stupid. Of course, I do enjoy a nice Cabernet Sauvignon (what a cool name for a red wine...only tasted it once, sadly), and I'll reluctantly take a glass of wine (my dad always buys this excellent Riesling...the only white wine I can tolerate) or champagne (wedding champagne is excellent...so crisp and fresh), but really, beer and other hard liquors are just a waste of money. I have very little respect for people who drink because they feel they have to in order to socially facilitate themselves. They are incredibly weak-minded. Yes. Even my own mother.

50. Obviously, I speak the blunt, solid truth without remorse. It's one of my...less pleasant qualities. But I find the truth to be extremely necessary. If we all just told the truth more often, well, more of us would be dead, but the rest of us would be exceptionally progressive.

I'm sure there will be more to come after this post. I can't resist blabbing about my pathetic life to whoever will listen. Of course, nobody really cares, except me, and even then,

I'm losing interest in myself.